I saw quite a shocking picture this week. It was taken by a wedding photographer friend of mine during a church of England church wedding ceremony.
The Church in question had charged the happy couple a total of £670 to get married there and led them to believe that photography during the ceremony, from the back of the church would not be a problem. On the day however the Vicar turned the tables and banned any photography from the official photographers. This happens all to often and we always inform our couples that whatever happens at the Church we are in effect in the hands of not only the Vicar but the church warden as to what, if anything they will permit on the day.
So my redundant friend sat in with the congregation. Noticing however that several guests were taking photos using a variety of cameras from mobile phones through small digital cameras to more serious amateur cameras he decided it would do no halm to take a picture of the kiss after the couple were pronounced man and wife from his position in the congregation at the back of the church using a long lens with no flash.
A gentleman several rows in front of him also had the same idea. Whilst the lingering kiss was taking place the Vicar noticing the gentleman in front of my friend appears in the picture my friend took to articulate a “V” sign behinds the brides head. My friends shot clearly shows him glaring behind the couple – who were totally oblivious to any of this and putting two fingers in the air! How disgraceful is that? The Vicar had not requested the guests to refrain from photography and the guest concerned was naturally very upset at what had happened.
Whilst we’re on the subject of photography in church, allow me to share with you a letter received recently from a church in West Yorkshire who again had indicated to the happy couple that photography would be no problem provided it was without flash and from the back of the church. This letter was given to the couple to pass on to us two days before the wedding at their rehearsal:
Dear Photographer
We understand that you are to act as the official photographer at a wedding in our Benefice, and hope that this letter will give you all the information that you will need.
Before the marriage service:
After the service:
No restrictions as to number. Weddings are usually booked at two-hourly intervals which means you should have time to take all the photographs you need.
We hope you find these notes helpful.
Yours sincerely
The Rev’d (name deleted for privacy)
Priest-in-charge
I should explain that it only takes one bad apple photographer to be silly and disrespectful in church to spoil things for everyone. We have heard horror stories of photographers literally crawling along pews and then popping up, flashing away to get their shot and then going off somewhere else like a ninja turtle. We’ve even been told of one photographer who took a picture over the shoulder of the Vicar of the passage in the bible he was trying to read at the time. Clearly this is unacceptable behaviour. We do not behave like this.
If we are lucky we are sometimes allowed to have one of us in the choirstalls or front of the church and the other at the back. We don’t use flash and remain as unobtrusive as possible – taking photographs during the hymn singing for example and of course of the first married kiss. We do like to take a picture of the rings being pushed into place if possible but do not click away during the exchanging of the vows. Some church officials can be like Rottweilers however…..
In the instance of the couple outlined above they requested that the brides uncle – who was higher up in the Church heirachy and from a neighbouring parish be allowed to marry them. Reluctantly and on the threat of the service being cancelled (so the church losing several hundreds of pounds they were gaining from the couple) the church agreed. It was deemed that I would be “allowed” to be in the choirstalls since the brides Uncle had sanctioned this.
On the day however the Vicar from the parish’s wife (hope you are keeping up here!) was determined our couple were to have no photography from the front at it “set a precedent for other couples”. So she literally shoved me in the back row, darkest corner of the choirstalls, totally hemmed in by the 3 baritones! By this time I had gathered that this church had in it’s congregation some of the most uncharitable “Christians” I had ever met.
I am a ley preachers daughter as it happens. I was brought up going to church 2 or 3 times every Sunday without exception. I am very respectful of the church and the solemnity of marriage. So this is how the conversation went between the Vicar’s wife and myself after she had “stuffed” me into the pew:
I asked her politely if I could move positions. “no – you go where I tell you she says and you will be staying there because there are three baritones sitting next to you. You won’t be able to move.” She was right – I couldn’t.
So I smiled sweetly and said “Ok then I’ll just have to sing.” “What do you mean you’ll just have to sing?” “Well, I’m in the choirstalls, as agreed to take a couple of photos of the marriage. Since you’re making it impossible for me to do that I will just do what everyone else in the choirstalls will be doing – sing.”
“You can’t sing” she says, horrified. “Why not?” I ask. “Well what are you? You’re in with the baritones. If you aren’t a baritone you will spoil all our balance.” “I’ve no idea” I say “…but I’ll do my best to sing very loud and in tune – help the congregation to get going. I know most of the words I hear them that often each week in church. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. Will quite enjoy it being able to sing along with no pressure.”
She’s now going red in the face. “So you go to church every week then?” “Yes – more or less every week. I’ve picked up most of the hymns by now ” then I launch into the most tuneless rendition of “Lord of the Dance” you’ve ever heard. She looks mortified.
“You see – I take much better photographs than the way I sing but since I’m not taking photographs there’s only one thing I can do and that is to sing.” She looks very embarassed by now and visibly flustered. So I carry on…”It’s ironic really because my singing is much louder than my camera going off. Still as I said I’ll enjoy it.”
Before we get any further with our discussions the videographer arrives and sets up his excessively large tripod right in the middle in front of the altar.
“You can’t put that there…..” she starts. “Is he with you?” she hisses at me. “No – not at all so I’ve no idea what his singing voice is like but I’m sure it won’t be anything like mine” I say.
So she toddles off to sort him out.
Meanwhile I get myself into a slightly better position and do get some shots of my couple.
And yes – I did sing – all the way through actually.
It’s all in a days work as they say.
If I had a greenback for every time I came to blog.fnsweddings.com! Incredible writing!
Very interesting post Sharon! Could you be talking about “x” church by any chance?
Hi Janet
Nice to see you here – I’ve edited out the church name from your post because I don’t want to land myself in any trouble but yes you are right – it was that one!
Hi Sharon
Thank you. I found your post very interesting and quickly recognised the “rules for photographers” which we’ve not come across anywhere else! It’s a lovely church too – such a shame we can’t get the best out of it!
They were awful to the couple the day we were there. The church warden came to tell her during the signing of the register that they couldn’t pause at the bottom of the aisle to shake hands with all their guests as they exited – as they had planned to do and I believe discussed with the church prior to the wedding day – as they were wanting to be in the church to take the flowers out straight after the service (the church people not the couples family) since the day afters service was the the first Sunday of whatever period the Anglicans don’t allow flowers in the church. As soon as the last guest had exited they very pointedly slammed the church door shut and locked it! Very, very sad that the church things it’s acceptable and Christian to treat one of their couples like this on their wedding day.
It’s certainly not Christian nor considerate either. In fact it’s down right rude! The result should be that couples choose not to marry there but often they aren’t made aware of any issues until it’s too late to change their plans. It’s such a shame and we have a wedding there later this year!
Yes – bet you are not looking forward to it. I don’t ever want to go there again if we can help it. By contrast yesterdays wedding was at Christchurch on the Stray in Harrogate and they couldn’t have been more accommodating. The verger was just lovely to everyone and took us for a walk round before hand saying “where would you like to be and what would you like to do?” he talked about how pleased they were that the couple had opted to marry in church and how they wanted them and their guests to feel welcome – including the photographers. So nice and they really went the extra mile for everyone there. All with smiles too!
It’s so lovely when the minister or registrar has the attitude that it’s the most important day of the couple’s lives and they should have the opportunity to have the best possible photographs taken to document the most important part of that most important day. As long as photographers are respectful and don’t cause any distractions, I can’t see what the problem is and why there should be such a variation in attitude between individual celebrants. It’s not as if they are providing a free service – far from it! Rant over!
Totally agree! It’s a shame we can’t start some sort of campaign that they would listen too, the trouble is they only need to have a bad experience with a photographer or videographer and it spoils it for everyone.
We had one Vicar tell us once of a photographer who shot the passage of the bible he was reading over his shoulder using flash! Can you imagine how awful that would be? No need for it either. At another wedding of ours the videographer walked alongside of the bride all the way down the aisle, proceeded to step between her and the groom and then the Vicar to pan in and get his shot and then stood directly infront of the altar with a massive tripod. Totally obtrusive. The couple were really upset with him. The wedding was last October and they still haven’t seen their DVD.
How’s this for a story? We were told this week by the videographer we were working with that at one wedding, the photographer explained to the vicar that in order for him not to be noticed, he would lie on his back on top of his wheeled case and “wheel” himself down the aisle so that the vicar wouldn’t see him as he positioned himself looking upwards between the couple as they exchanged rings, so that he could photograph it from below! He wasn’t joking either!!!!!!!
My goodness I wonder what the poor Vicar made of that one. Do you know who it was? Shocking stuff.
I don’t know who it was – the videographer didn’t say! You couldn’t make it up could you?